My Big Adventure

Squirt

I've been quite remiss in writing my blog!  That's not a good way to run a blog; all the blog advice you read tells you that.  I thought I'd better get to it, though, because I don't want anyone to think I haven't written because I'm blue.  I'm not blue.  Thank goodness!  And, I have to worry now about whether any of my beloved readers still remember me!  While I have been relatively busy, my not writing is mainly because my writing brain has been having a fallow period.  Too much Christmas spirit.

I have done a fun thing or two lately, though.  Remember when I wrote that I signed up on e-harmony, the dating web site?  Well, there was one awfully nice man whose emails stood out from the rest and eventually we began talking on the phone.  Gosh, I guess we talked almost every day for a month. Some of the conversations lasted two hours and more! That was such a revelation to me because I had no idea I could do that: talk on the phone for hours to a man.  I would have never believed I would have anything to say and I figured anxiety and shyness would sabotage my efforts.  I used to talk endlessly on the phone to clients when I worked, but when I quit, it seemed like I developed an aversion akin to a phone phobia...a mild one.  Not only that, but it was a man and I just couldn't imagine how that would be.  Well clearly it went well and I couldn't find a trace of anxiety and shyness anywhere after the first ten minutes.  What a delight to discover that! Who is this woman?

In the natural course of things like that, we decided to meet and see if the attraction would hold up off the phone. In person.   Geeze.  If I thought the phone was scary I was petrified about a face to face. But that's why I signed up on the darned site, so I just swallowed the fear. Thing is, he lives three hours away in a ski town in an area I've always loved.  My family used to go skiing there all the time.  So, since I seldom do anything half way, I decided that rather than planning an innocuous one hour meeting at a Starbucks somewhere between our towns, I would give myself a little Christmas gift and just go there and rent a tiny condo in the village. I've needed to have some alone time desperately.  I  haven't had any since FH left back in May.  I arranged something pleasant for Katy and just went for it.   I thought that if we continued to like each other, I'd have a nice escort for the weekend.  If not, well....it's a great place to just hang out and be alone too. 

I'm happy to report that it went very well.  When he came over the first time, he brought flowers, candy and the sweetest note.  Really!  He must have paid attention to my e-harmony profile where I wrote that I was hoping to find a romantic man. We had a ball.  We went to a movie ("Australia". It was wonderful.), dancing, driving, shopping, eating, talking, and threw in a little bit of kissing just for good measure.  And yes...that was also scary.  Imagine my not having kissed anyone for at least two years, and for the thirty-eight before that, it was just one man. And, after twenty years or so we didn't kiss that much anyway.  I wonder if that is the norm with long married people or if it was just us. Hmmm. Perhaps more kissing would have changed the course.  Well that's doubtful and anyway, I'm getting pretty happy with the course I'm on now.  I won't deny that I've felt a little starved in that area: hugs, kisses, and just simple affection. You know. The good stuff.  Thankfully I was able to maintain some composure and not come off like a needy little puppy, though I admit that at times throughout the last few years I have felt that way.

Oh, and he has a wonderful dog. Roxy. A big plus.

Like I said on this blog long ago, I'm not looking for a husband, a soul mate, or a live in boyfriend, although I suppose a soul mate would always be a good thing to find, though I can't say I believe in those anymore.  But an interesting man to go places with occasionally would be nice, and living three hours apart certainly supports the "occasionally" part.  My friend Paula says my plan won't fly because most men our age are looking for someone to take care of them and they aren't going to be game for having a date once every four or five weeks like I am envisioning. We'll see. 

I do know that I need more of an adult life.  I'm doing several things to try and create one.  I joined that health club and I'm going to volunteer there a few hours a week after the holidays just so I can be around more adults and meet some new people.  I'm going to go back to book club, or at least consider doing that.  I joined when I first moved here, but I just hated most of the books they chose.  My reading time is too treasured by me to read something I don't want to read. Lavonne says they are selecting much more interesting books now.  Frankly, I like entertaining books for my nightly reading in bed. I may just be an occasional visitor.  And I did the e-harmony thing, a very adult thing.

So, what's next? Another nice visit from him, this time here on my turf.  Katy and Max, my son, are going on their own little trip for a few days after Christmas and that is when he'll come.  I'm not up for family introductions just yet.  I don't want to introduce Katy to anyone unless I'm fairly confident he'll be in my life for a decent amount of time.  Not that I'm keeping the facts from her. I'm not. 

So....that's one thing I have been preoccupied with.  I was going to write about how I've begun snow shoeing on the mountain behind the house but I had more to say tonight than I expected so I'll tell you about that fun pastime later. 

It's a great holiday this year.  It really is. Max is here. The atmosphere is void of anxiety. We are going skiing twice while he's here...Katy for her first time, and me for the first time since the 80's.  The weather is gorgeous. We've got fabulous food to cook for Christmas day, and Santa has some fun surprises in store for Katy. 

Right now...life is good.

And, just in case I go fallow again, let me say right here and now...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!  YOU'RE ALL GREAT!!!!!!!

Comments

[susan]

Holy Cow BatMan ! and here I was worried that you might be feeling blue & glum this holiday season. That is a totally sweet post and I'm so happy that you had such a lovely time with this new man. He's a lucky guy ... and I bet he knows it.

Merry Christmas to you too !
lots of love from far away Nova Scotia
xo, S, Miss D, Bleet, Oliver & Gus

[Mrs. C]

WOWWWWEEEE! I'm glad for you!

And no, at least *I* can't forget you because blogger has you on my "follow" list now. If my list gets lost I might forget where to FIND you, though. :]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

[Judy in KY]

Hi Anya! It's great to hear from you. Don't worry about losing us... I check in on you every day. You sound fabulous, by the way. Merry Christmas!

[Emily]

Yeaaaahh Anya!!!
See, you CAN find matches on these sites. I didnt think it was possible either, but after I met Dave I totally believed.
Granted, we never got romantic. But he is to this day one of my best friends and he understands me better than many people who've known me my whole life.
Well I wish you luck and lots of passion.. :o)
Merry Christmas my blogger friend!
Em

[Alexandra]

Ana, I'm so glad to have gotten to know you as well. I wish you the very BEST Christmas this year. Your tree is beautiful!!...just like you. :)

*hugs*

[BumbleVee]

A very Merry Christmas Anya.... to you, Max and Katy.... hope 2009 brings all you wish for and more....... well, more of the good stuff that is..... lol......

[Mim]

Anya
Merry Christmas.
Thanks for visiting me on Cmas eve and your kind comments.
Yes it's been a delight to meet you.
And thanks for sharing your story and what has been happening the last few weeks in your life.
It all sounds so exciting for you and I can't wait to hear more about your new adventure.
Hope you and your daughter have a wonderful day.
Talk to you soon!
Mim

[adult chat]

Thanks for one's marvelous posting! I seriously enjoyed reading it, you happen to be a great author.I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will come back in the future. I want to encourage one to continue your great writing, have a nice day!