The Deer Messenger

The Deer

Gentleness and Innocence

Deer teaches us to use the power of gentleness
to touch the hearts and minds of
wounded beings who are in our lives.

Don't push towards change in others,
rather gently nudge them in the right direction
with the love that comes from a Deer totem.

When a Deer totem shows up in your life,
a new innocence and freshness is about to be awakened.
There is going to be a gentle lure of new adventures.
There will  be an opportunity to express the gentle love
that will open new doors for you.

On New Year's Eve, I went snowshoeing on the mountain behind my house.  This time I reached every landmark that on earlier walks had been a goal accomplished and just kept going.  I got to the locked gate that marks the national forest boundary and with big duck feet clumsily climbed through it and just kept going.  I had the i-pod in my pocket, earphones in my ears, and I was in the zone.

 

The forest side of the gate.

But there is a certain place on my trail when I turn the i-pod off, take out the earphones and soak up the sounds of the forest: wind blowing through the stately blue spruces in their broad needle skirts; ravens squawking, apparently at nothing more than the joy of lazily riding the thermals; the crunch of my snowshoes moving in and out of the snow...and the padded silence of deep, snow covered forest. This place where I separate myself from the music is near the top end of my usual trek, my side of the forest gate.  But on New Year's Eve I climbed through that gate and just kept going. I'd say I'll go to the top of that hill then I'll turn around.  Then I'd do that and I'd say Well, I'm almost at the u-turn in the box canyon so I'll go till it makes the turn.  or Oh, man, I can tell by the sky I can see through those trees I'm nearly at the top, I've gotta keep goin'. And that is how I make the goals.  Just a little by little. From one landmark to another.  Is this a life lesson for me? For anyone? If so, I'm just learning it. I have never made and met athletic goals in my life. And very few other goals for that matter.

Looking back I believe I was inspired by a comment made the night before by my friend Lucy at our girlfriend Christmas party (a little late this year).  Lucy is around 70, ten years or more older than I. I was telling the girls of my snowshoe adventures and how I was delighted and amazed that I was walking all the way to the forest gate.  Then Lucy said, Yeah, I walked that road last summer all the way to the top of the mountain. 

Hmmmm.  I'm thinking, the top of the mountain. Much farther than the forest gate. And suddenly the top of the mountain became a very alluring destination.

Up past the gate the snow was very deep and there was no previous snowshoe path to make the going easier. I could really feel those butt cheeks firming up every time I lifted a snowshoe out of the heavy snow to take another step.  I felt quite clever when I noticed that all the animal footprints were stacked upon one another along the edge of the road while I was walking in the middle of the road. I made my way to the edge and realized that the animals knew that that part of the road was less deep in the first place, and if they all kept to the same path, eventually it would become slightly packed down and the going would become easier for all. Those little critters are smart.  I followed suit and then kept to their path. I'll bet they appreciated my packing down their path even more.

I so wish I could convey the sheer isolation up there.  I've taken a lot of pictures trying to capture it to show you guys, but they always fall short of the reality.  When I'm up there it's like I'm the only human in the world. It is exhilarating. Often I think I will cry from it. Occasionally I do.

  

On this day as I rounded a bend in the road I came face to face with a magnificent buck deer.  I carefully came to a stop and we regarded each other for a few moments. Then I began to move toward him slowly displaying no threatening behavior,  but not avoiding his eyes either. In fact, I held them unwaveringly with mine.  I was a little surprised that he didn't bolt. That's the common action of a buck being approached by a human.  They are much more skittish than the does who are not hunted. But at the same time, I had a gut feeling that he wasn't going to flee, and so I edged closer and closer to him.

I said quietly Are you a messenger?  and he simply stood there not frightened by my voice at all,  holding my eyes with his big, knowing, brown eyes. The deer almost always hasten away when I speak to them. Oh, at that moment his deep liquid eyes seemed to hold the wisdom of the Universe to me. I was mesmerized.  I spoke to him a little more though I don't recall what I said. Only when I decided to take a photo and reached for and fiddled with my camera did he turn unhurriedly, look over his shoulder at me once, then gracefully disappear down the steep, snowy, cliff and into the trees edging that side of the road. I let my body relax, and I knew he was a messenger.

I continued the walk and eventually I did reach the top, a place where I could look over the other side of the mountain and see a sweeping valley below.  I wanted to mark this special accomplishment, but every rock and stick was either buried under several feet of snow or frozen in place. So I just I whooped and hollered a little bit. I felt so deeply touched by the moment (it was just so beautiful) and by my messenger that I paused and voiced a reverent "thank you" to the Universe. I threw kisses to the Universe.  Honestly, I rejoiced. (have I ever used that word?) As I've told you before, you can do that up here in the middle of nowhere.  Certainly one of the joys of living in the boonies. Max and I charted that walk on google earth later.  It was a five mile round trip...1000 foot gain in elevation.  In snowshoes.  Ha, ha, ha, ha...who is that woman?

The first thing I did when I got home was to go to the computer and enter the site that my dear friend Susan told me about that explores the meanings of animal totems.  (I have decided to not call my blog friends "blog friends" anymore.  They are just friends.  Don't you feel that way too?) Here is the link: animal totems.  And I looked up "deer", and above at the beginning of this post, under the photo of the deer is what the deer totem means.

You know, I don't think that every time a fox runs across the road in front of your car or you spot a coyote in the meadow that that is a "visit" or a "message" from an animal totem. In my world, those are regular occurrences. No. I believe it has to be a special encounter with an animal. Or an encounter with a special animal like the albino raven my ski instructor watched for a half hour the day before New Year's Eve. (I'll tell you about this guy later. Yum)  Something out of the ordinary.  In the case of the buck, it was just that. He did not run at my approach, but instead stood there regally and silently conveying to me that our meeting was meaningful. Is this just my vivid imagination?  Does it matter? Not one bit.  If you believe you are receiving a message from the Universe then it is effective whether it is a reality or a figment.  Is that just wonderful or what?!!

Well....that was an important message, so apropos to the conversations, musings, conclusions and decisions of my little family during this season.  Those I'll explore later with you, and hopefully benefit from your insights and comments. 

There were many stellar moments in this holiday season...the very best I've experienced in many years.  But that deer and the gift of his message to me must certainly set the theme for my highly anticipated new year ahead. I just know I will discover my true way this year.

Happy New Year my dear friends!

Snowshoe tracks leading to home.

Comments

[Judy in KY]

Anya, you are fabulous. I love the image of you standing on the mountain, whooping and hollering and rejoicing.
Isn't it wonderful when you have moments when you feel like thanking the universe?
What a wonderful way to start the new year!

[Mmmm]

So, i have to ask, what do you think the message was?

"and soak up the sounds of the forest: wind blowing through the stately blue spruces in their broad needle skirts; ravens squawking, apparently at nothing more than the joy of lazily riding the thermals; the crunch of my snowshoes moving in and out of the snow...and the padded silence of deep, snow covered forest."
--Love that.

[Alex]

Hi Anya...snowshoeing? I don't think I've ever done that myself...but what beauty you describe.

Hope you have a good week!

[Robin]

What a wonderful post. There is a book with cards (similar to the Tarot, but different) that you can get...I've got it here, somewhere (rattling around)... Ah, Medicine Cards! You might like it.

Also, a book. The Perfection of Morning.

I envy you and where you live and I'm happy for your moment with the buck. Thank you for reminding me that changes, and their emissaries can be good.

[BumbleVee]

he is beautiful! and, you definitely captured the expanse and solitude in the photo... well, I can see and feel it anyway. I know how difficult it is to capture huge expanse or the height and breadth of a mountain (our Rockies every time I try)...so I can certainly get the feeling...

hope you have a great 2009...

[susan]

Good morning. I am paying special attention to crows and their medicine these days. An extremely common bird around Black Street and this little sea side village and one I confess to taking for granted. Suddenly I find myself paying attention to them, noticing what a striking and handsome bird they are, watching their intelligent interactions with each other and listening to all the varied sounds of their huge vocabulary.

cheers to a successful new year.

xo, S, Miss D, Nessie, Ver & Gus

[fire byrd]

What a joyous post!
How utterly amazing to have had that encounter with the deer.
I agree with you about the symbolism. I feel the same way about Herons.Which I get to see on my long walks.
Happy New Year my dear.
xx